Miss Pansy Pickman and her father, the late Ivan Pickman
Founders of Ancestral Acquisitions, Ltd. Est. 1840


Elevate your Standing in Society! Become Interesting! Improve Marriage Prospects! Acquire the Relatives
you truly Deserve!
We here at Ancestral Acquisitions believe that everyone deserves to improve on his or her 
life. We
offer a vast assortment  individuals, couples and families to choose from. You never have to meet them,
you never
have to spend holidays with them, you never have to gift them anything. In fact, by acquiring one of
client offerings
you gain all of the social possibilities without any of the socialising. You will receive the glorious
of your newly acquired ancestors in a lovely frame, you will be entitled to their name, their wealth
(if any) and
quite possibly, their noteriety. We invite you to browse the current available ancestral acquisitions 

Lady Beatrice Louise

Poised, refined, witty,
filthy rich, utterly silly
& completely mad, 
enjoys barefoot
hopscotch & rollerskating


Miss Lydia Katzenberger
and daughter Lillibeth

A purrrrfectly sweet mother
& child, playful, always
nicely groomed, litterbox
trained, of course


Mr. Rudyard Nelson
Woodhouse & son Randy

A fine upright, slightly

crazy, stage performer and
a son who is literally a chip
off the ole block


Mr. Callum Rush, Miss
Freda Fall & Bonesly
the Butler

A really fun trio into 
nude gymnatics, cross-
dressing, blind dominos,
& Canadian cooking


Mlle. Margo Tooloose
French demimonde,
no sensual preferences,
trained acrobat (!),
enjoys absinthe, Thai
food, linguine and other
aphrodisiacs, enjoys
wearing bunny ears


Miss O. Susannah
Christian Virtue

Deeply religious, loves to
cook, garden, play piano,
sing, compose poetry, read
uplifting stories, and re-
arranging her massive 
hairpin collection. Beautiful,
virginal, boring


The Milburn & Margaret
Blank Family

Pliable, lacking in ideas,
empty, can be formed into
whatever your needs are
(they really don't care)


Mlle Constance Quimm
Semi-retired courtesan
(not really), looking for

love in all the right places,
enjoys bubblebaths, sheer
clothing, Cheetos & Bosco


Ladies of Leisure:
Miss Lottie Bush &
Miss Alma Moist

Inseparable couple, fun
& amusing, dress alike,
great dancers, heavily
into rap and hip-hop


Mr. Frederic "Flo" Donalson-McKinny and
Mrs. Michelina "Big Mike" Donalson-McKinny,

Searching for new Ancestral Acquisitions, they met in our
office and love happened! Congratulations on your
wedding, kids!



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