Miss Pansy Pickman and her father, the late Ivan Pickman
Founders of Ancestral Acquisitions, Ltd. Est. 1840

 
ANCESTRAL  ACQUISITIONS ~  London West End

Elevate your Standing in Society! Become Interesting! Improve Marriage Prospects! Acquire the Relatives
you truly Deserve!
 
We here at Ancestral Acquisitions believe that everyone deserves to improve on his or her 
life. We
offer a vast assortment  individuals, couples and families to choose from. You never have to meet them,
you never
have to spend holidays with them, you never have to gift them anything. In fact, by acquiring one of
client offerings
you gain all of the social possibilities without any of the socialising. You will receive the glorious
photograph
of your newly acquired ancestors in a lovely frame, you will be entitled to their name, their wealth
(if any) and
quite possibly, their noteriety. We invite you to browse the current available ancestral acquisitions 
 


Lady Beatrice Louise
Owen-Prentice

Poised, refined, witty,
filthy rich, utterly silly
& completely mad, 
enjoys barefoot
hopscotch & rollerskating


$20.00





Miss Lydia Katzenberger
and daughter Lillibeth

A purrrrfectly sweet mother
& child, playful, always
nicely groomed, litterbox
trained, of course


$20.00





Mr. Rudyard Nelson
Woodhouse & son Randy
Woodhouse

A fine upright, slightly

crazy, stage performer and
a son who is literally a chip
off the ole block


$20.00





Mr. Callum Rush, Miss
Freda Fall & Bonesly
the Butler

A really fun trio into 
nude gymnatics, cross-
dressing, blind dominos,
& Canadian cooking


$18.00





Mlle. Margo Tooloose
French demimonde,
no sensual preferences,
trained acrobat (!),
enjoys absinthe, Thai
food, linguine and other
aphrodisiacs, enjoys
wearing bunny ears


$14.00





Miss O. Susannah
Christian Virtue

Deeply religious, loves to
cook, garden, play piano,
sing, compose poetry, read
uplifting stories, and re-
arranging her massive 
hairpin collection. Beautiful,
virginal, boring


$12.00





The Milburn & Margaret
Blank Family

Pliable, lacking in ideas,
empty, can be formed into
whatever your needs are
(they really don't care)


$25.00





Mlle Constance Quimm
Semi-retired courtesan
(not really), looking for

love in all the right places,
enjoys bubblebaths, sheer
clothing, Cheetos & Bosco


$18.00





Ladies of Leisure:
Miss Lottie Bush &
Miss Alma Moist

Inseparable couple, fun
& amusing, dress alike,
great dancers, heavily
into rap and hip-hop


$23.00




Mr. Frederic "Flo" Donalson-McKinny and
Mrs. Michelina "Big Mike" Donalson-McKinny,

Searching for new Ancestral Acquisitions, they met in our
office and love happened! Congratulations on your
wedding, kids!

 

                           

    EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: If you are ordering from outside the US, your order will require INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING
~ We request that you send your order to us at darkcoastcrewe@aol.com ~ USPS International Flat Rate will be used wherever possible to give you secure shipping at the most sensible price, unless you request another form of shipping. We are making this change because we are concerned about your shopping experience and our fulfillment of your requests.  NO international orders
will be fulfilled nor will funds be exchanged without the customer's expressed confirmation via email reply.
  Thank you, dear customers!
                           

 

Copyright 2016-2018 by Special Services Unltd., the parent company for CyphreVoudouDocklands.com. Print copy, logos, original artistic concepts/creations/designs and original artwork are copyrighted 2012-18 by B. Fister-Liltz, Alchemy Ink, and Special Services Unltd. No reproduction rights in any form may be reproduced without the expressed written permission of the company and specific holders of our copyrights. 

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TTWS